Episode 4: Malaysian Comedies // Jokes

Friday, March 4, 2011

1. A typical young Malaysian can name all the players from a top English Premier League club, but ask him to name one football player from Malaysia, he cannot! (coz filled with lazy players)

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah. (yeah streamyx is the best so far but still under slow category)

3. When highway toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS. (yeah we don't drink starbucks coffee everyday you idiot and we don't spend RM1000 for our underwear)

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE, run from one end of 1Utama to the other, that one NO COMPLAINT. (no comments, you guys complaint too much for this one, walking by the way is good for health)

5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking. (maybe you do that)

6. You have a parent who forces you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce. (maybe your parents did)

7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to an American / British / Australian. (never noticed)

8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA. (you talk like you take care of our family when we are in ISA)

9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queuing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB. (and again, maybe you do that)

10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese. (yeah I agree, still can get cheaper in Malay & Indian stall)

11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays. (I blame government)

12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians. (do you really?)

13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!' (yeah this sound racist but happens)
14. When an angmoh stranger kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kisses you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him in face. (yeah nice one, I agree with you on this one)

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